Compelling conversations

50 lessons in 50 years

One of the best attributes of social media is the celebration of major events like anniversaries, new jobs and birthdays! The apps excel because with the ease of a few keyboard clicks you can let someone know you are thinking about them on their special day. In 500 hundred years when they look back at society in 2024, it may be one of the kindest gestures in our society.

I didn’t desire a big bash for my 50th birthday. I celebrated with close friends this past weekend. Savored a whiskey marinated filet mignon and appreciated genuine conversations and laughter.

Many times, you will see a thank you post about all the great messages received from those that have reached out. I would like to use this space to briefly tell you about the 50 lessons I have learned while sharing this piece of real estate we call Earth for 50 years. Why not be a tad different, right?

1. Meet with individuals who have a drastically different perspective than you. Listen.
2. Occupations fill a large slice of the pie in this journey called life. Find a gig you are passionate about doing daily.
3. But…don’t let your job be your complete identity.
4. Appreciate what you have. Don’t fret about what you do not have.
5. It’s amazing what you get sentimental with over time. That UNL recruitment video with the voice of Johnny Carson gets me all the time.
6. Oh…and that segment about Kirk Herbstreit’s dog Ben passing away last weekend.
7. Move a little. Exercise helps you out physically and mentally.
8. When you find yourself in a rut, do…. something – else. Repeat until you find what works.
9. You gain perspective when life kicks you in the shins.
10. GBR theory.  Grieve, then plan for a better day. Breathe. Rally.
11. In sports and society, cheer for the underdog. The story is better.
12. Have hobbies. Try new hobbies.
13. Appreciate your blessings. Loved ones. Family. Close friends.
14. You will encounter negative people. They are that way for a reason. Practice empathy. Protect your joy.
15. All GREAT relationships take investment and work.
16. Put in the work. You will sleep better at night.
17. Mistakes can be a catalyst to a better life.
18. Don’t beat yourself up.
19. Make a playlist for someone else. If you time travel back to 1985, make it a mixtape.
20. Savor your own music. Have a large library of songs that get you through the worst of days.
21. Discover new music, movies, books, art and experiences. There’s something magical about the first time.
22. Do repeated behaviors that add joy into your well-being bank account.
23. Sports fandom can add so much to your life! A shared love is good for bonding or misery.
24. Start a conversation with a stranger. You may hear a gem that will shake you to the core.
25. Have deep chats quarterly with your closest friend or ally.
26. Make time for celebrations. Almost anything could be a cause for breaking out the party favors.
27. When you are on the fence, go to the funeral.
28. Pick a spouse well. Choose wisely.
29. When your buddy makes you chicken wings at 3am and you worry they may not be fully cooked, walk away from the chicken wings. Go to bed.
30. When given an option, use the crosswalks.
31. Give wisdom to your children. Hopefully, they will listen…. eventually.
32. Remember the talks with loved ones that leave a positive memory.
33. YOU control your mindset.
34. Do things that scare you a bit – it’s a good way to grow.
35. Create! The world is a better place for new products and inventions.
36. Log off one day a week – you can always catch up. It may be your favorite day of the week.
37. Find passion projects OUTSIDE the confines of your job.
38. Write letters. Nobody pens correspondence. Be an outlier.
39. There’s a beauty in being comfortable in your own skin. I’m still working on this. Getting closer.
40. Setting goals gives you a road map for the future – I may have heard this on the Jon Acuff podcast. It’s good advice. My goal is not to rip off Jon’s goals.
41. There is NOTHING like the pure joy of your dog after you return home after being gone for a few hours and they greet you with adulation and wet kisses. We can learn a lot from the canines.
42. Be authentic. Individuals see through fake.
43. Be an advocate for someone who needs it.
44. Education extends beyond the classroom. Knowledge can be gained when you pay attention.
45. Respect and honor your family. Whether that’s your blood family or the people you identify as family throughout the ups and downs.
46. We have more in common with neighbors who share this earth than what makes us polarized. Be a kind human. Look out for each other. Love.
47. Learn patience. Work to find inner peace.
48. Pay attention to how others treat you. If your friendship has little value, it is not a friendship. Mourn the loss. Move on. Invest in genuine friendships.
49. Find something every day that gets you excited. Re-evaluate. Pursue excitement.
50. Take no day for granted. It is never promised. Live in the moment. Celebrate life!

Thanks for reading if you made it this far! You can download all 18 episodes of the What the Father podcast on your favorite podcast platforms. I honestly believe the content is some of the best audio I have produced in nearly 3 decades in the audio realm. You can reach out to me on X at @baldandwitty

An essay from 1988 still hits home.

On Monday, I will celebrate a milestone birthday. Half a century.

This week, I thought it would be a good idea to clear out files in my basement. While doing so, my mother called and said there’s about 8 boxes in her attic that belong to me I can gladly store at my house. One project at a time, mom.

It’s hard not to get drawn in by keepsakes and pictures of days gone by.

I discovered this gem from junior high school…about 7 years before I would use dial-up internet for the first time in college to research some random fact about the third string punter for the Huskers.

It still holds up today. Enjoy life. Cherish wins. Learn from the losses. I read many people will be leaving social media for a stretch of time. Probably a good idea to find new hobbies. I’ve journaled off and on since well before penning this quick essay. I definitely wasn’t scrolling through social media back then. I was bored. So, I found ways to occupy my time…while listening to “Nothin’ But a Good Time” by Poison.

Here’s the essay from when

Life is best seen through the eyes of a child.

It is simple and uncomplicated.

Keep your room clean.

Be nice.

Go play outside.

No deadlines, no worries, no bills.

Take a nap.

Have a snack.

Watch Sesame Street.

Play Nintendo.

Get along with your playmates.

Relax.

Go play inside.

Do what you like.

Go with the flow.

Play with your friends.

Go to bed.

Imagination is at a maximum, just ask your imaginary friends.

Dreams are attainable.

The ‘real world” can wait.

All is possible. All is new.

Your parents will protect you.

If you can’t decide an important matter, flip a coin.

Smile.

No matter what you do, God and your parents still love and care for you.

Ask a lot of questions. Learn from the answers.

Be yourself, be independent in thought.

Laugh.

Written by a 13 year old – and re-discovered by a man 3 times his age at 49.98. If only I had tips for buying Apple or Google stock written down somewhere in this essay.

Communicating on Southbound I-29

Today marks one year since I left my career as a radio broadcaster to become a full-time caregiver for my adult son. Luckily, I picked up a few side jobs and continue to pursue passion projects to maximize chasing creative thoughts. I so enjoyed that aspect in my previous chapter of life.

These past 12 months were jam packed with many emotions and eye-opening experiences. I learned to appreciate blessings and wins. Maybe, I was too busy to notice those events when consumed with daily tasks at work. It’s safe to say I have a different mindset now based on the events of transitioning into a new role.

Here’s an example of one of those blessings from this past week:

Two days ago, I took my sons down south to Onawa to run an errand. After that was complete, my 18-year-old son joked we should keep driving down I-29 and have lunch with my parents in Omaha. I said, “Well it is only another hour, but we really didn’t prepare Trey for it.”  We got in the car and were going to head north. Then, I looked in the back seat. Trey had his photo book of pictures of loved ones. He opened it to a picture of the family in my parent’s living room in Omaha. He’s nonverbal but he understands and communicates in his own way. He kept looking at the image and smiling. We took a family vote. It was great to see my parents and grab an impromptu lunch.

This was a great example of a day in the life during the past year.

1. Lead with heart
2. Be Flexible
3. Have a plan B.
4. Spend time with loved ones whenever you can.
5. Celebrate the wins.

One Step at a time through a Life with Autism

Strolling through the frontiers of social media yesterday, a post caught my attention. It was from a mother who just found out her 3-year-old son had been diagnosed with autism. She reached out into the wild to see if anyone had words of advice.

That day you find out about the label of autism is especially traumatic. It feels like you are challenged to carry around a backpack filled with concrete cinder blocks and puzzle pieces through Yellowstone Park while being chased by a mountain lion. I had no words of advice back when our family started our “autism journey” with our son, Trey back in 2005. Now, nearly 2 decades later, I have a few thoughts on the matter based on my experience.

Lead with love. There is no better champion for a kiddo (and later an adult) than a parent. Use that parental instinct to make the best decision you can based on compassion. If you are gifted with other children, the same goes for them. There’s a reason the momma bear is so protective of their cub.

Advocate like no one else can – If you don’t already have this skillset, you will master it after a few years. You need to be prepared to fight for rights and opportunities. Sometimes actions come about because of the loud.

Speaking of the loud, you may grow into a new superpower of not caring much about how the public views you and your family. I lost it once to a snobby lady at Barnes and Noble one Wednesday afternoon. Not everyone will “get it.” Save your energy on the important tasks at hand.

Cherish the wins. New accomplishments for your son will be more gratifying than you can imagine. It may seem like a small feat to others. Don’t let that stop you from cheering and enjoying the moment. Those wins keep you going on challenging days.

Yes. There will be obstacles. Odds are you might experience a meltdown at the grocery store. Frustration leads to your child kicking in the drywall at home. There will be confrontations with neuro-typical students. Be prepared. Breathe.

The puzzle of this new life will confound you for some days. However, the concrete cinder blocks eventually seem to weigh a little less over time.

Your worldview tends to change in a positive way. Mine sure did. Patience and compassion are great attributes you gain when you lead with love for a child with autism.

Communication through Calories

Communication looks different in our family than it does in your house. Our 20-year-old Trey is a tremendous young adult with an infectious smile and boundless energy. He also has autism and is non-verbal. Today, he enjoyed looking through my iPhone and stopped at this photo from 2010. (Yes, I have a plethora of images on my device) He doesn’t consume cake but loves Rice Krispies, so we made him this for his birthday a decade ago. He looked at me. We looked at the picture. He led me by hand to the kitchen. Tonight, after the massive hint, I made a pan of rice Krispie treats. We communicate well – just without words.

One day too late, One lifetime of care-giving

Yesterday was World Autism Day. Every year, I use that special day as an opportunity to create a few words in an online space or over a broadcast radio station to chat about how autism through my son’s eyes has changed my worldview. I usually get a slew of well-wishers about our journey through life, and it sparks a nice emotional bump to kick off the month. It’s good to have a plan. That did not happen yesterday. My son is on a mysterious sleepless stint where he has all the energy of the Energizer Bunny and the vocal lungs of Axl Rose. He’s without words, but he makes plenty of noise. For those under age 30, substitute Axl Rose reference with Olivia Rodrigo on ten cups of espresso. Same, same. I started the autism branded day powered on three interrupted 30-minute naps and had the energy of a zombie on “The Walking Dead”. Autism can overpower plans.

Over the past 10 months since I left my career to care full-time for Trey, I have a new toolbox of skills I did not have back then when I had a “traditional” job with co-workers who would chat about industry talk and fun topics. My son and I have different non-verbal conversations. He completely understands the mood of a room. He doesn’t do well with raised voices and tension. Good thing he doesn’t spend any time on X. We both love new paths and joy requiring venturing out of our comfort zone and courage. Autism takes courage.

The whole world doesn’t get it. They don’t have to understand. Judgment and brash arguments are best saved for politics or those abrasive morning sports shows on ESPN. What I learned is you really need to cherish the loved ones in your corner making this difficult path a little less stressful. Last week, I was lucky enough to meet good buddies in a bar after a late-night text and chat challenges of this new life the next day over double-dipped garlic parmesan crusted chicken wings and Coronas. The next day I met another friend over plates of gyros and French fries. Genuine friends have your back and are ready for a dose of compassion and listening just when you need it most. Combating the challenges autism presents daily can make a person feel lonely.  Spilling your guts to your closest allies over an abundance of calories on the plate in front of you is a true blessing. Autism goes down better with chicken wings and some cardio the next day.

This is year 18 into our family’s walk-through autism with our son. With every passing year, I feel there is more education and compassion for our family and others like ours. If you can support someone emotionally through this journey, it means more than you can imagine.

This morning, I accepted a challenge for Trey and me to attempt in early June. It will take patience, guts and practice. Nothing great is gained by sitting on the sidelines.

Autism requires action.

(By the way, if you want the location of best chicken wings in the Midwest, e-mail me at [email protected] or find me at @baldandwitty on X. So good!)

Authoring a new chapter

Last week in this space, I wrote about my recent transition away from careers in radio and education to that of a full-time caregiver for my adult son who has so many great qualities. He also happens to have autism which requires 24/7 care. Over the past seven days, I have heard from many going through the same type of life challenge. It was heartwarming to hear their stories rooted in leading with love.

It was great to learn how others made that turn and best practices for them. I “virtually” met someone with a remarkably similar background 1500 miles away. I re-connected with an acquaintance from fifteen miles away and we’ll meet and discuss journeys over caffeinated drinks soon. Coffee is a gold mine when your autism all-star bypasses sleep from time to time. There’s a lot of angst and doomscrolling on digital spaces, but this experience of posting about true feelings was a good one for me and I am thankful for the reactions.

I’ve read LinkedIn stories for over a decade. I enjoy content like “Seven ways to make meetings more effective” and “The benefit of setting daily goals at work.” Read them all the time. I even posted how training a puppy is like reaching new radio listeners through work, patience, and love. I wasn’t sure fatherhood content made sense here. I’m glad I wandered out of my comfort zone.

It helps when you see others walk that same path.

On Monday, March 4^th Philadelphia Eagles star center Jason Kelce spent over 41 minutes in front of press from around the globe to announce his retirement from a job he loved. It was authentic. Based in love for his city, teammates, and family and told in a way that portrayed a roller-coaster of emotions he felt at that moment. There were so many memorable lines in that speech. My favorite was when he talked of his upbringing and “how a father who is present, loving and devoted just may be the greatest gift a child can ask for in our society.” It was an NFL press conference unlike any I have ever seen.

“Entertainment Tonight” devotes hours of screen time to the courtship of Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce. Rightly so. That’s where the eyeballs and attention are. It’s glamourous and fun. It’s the buzz of a nation. As I reflect to the events of the week, there’s something equally as charming as a dad in a sleeveless shirt chronicling his new life journey away from the center stage. I think we could be LinkedIn buddies.

We are two fathers out of their comfort zone. Authoring a new chapter.

From hot-air maker to full-time Caretaker

Nine months ago today, I made the transition from a radio hot-air maker to full-time caretaker for my adult son with autism. I’ve learned a lot about him and myself since the day I left my dual careers in broadcasting and teaching at a local university. Some challenges were known from day one and were no surprise. Those adversities include financial uncertainty and the feeling of isolation going from chatting up 50 – plus co-workers, clients, students, and listeners daily to chats with my non-verbal son, Trey, much of the day and family when they arrive home from work and school.

There aren’t many places in this digital space devoted to such a whirlwind of emotions in transitioning from being front and center in the spotlight to a quieter caregiver role.  I have been blessed with other opportunities I could have never imagined in this new role. For 22 years, I would leave the house before 5am and wake up the listening area with content I hoped would resonate with them. By doing this, I also missed the at-home morning routine of my loved ones. I have spent more morning time with them since June 1^st, 2023, than I ever have in my life. I cherish those early one on one chats. Maybe even more than broadcasting to thousands on their morning commute. However, I’m not sure they would find my morning chats interesting.  They know how my listeners felt on a daily basis. Time is fleeting and making this major change was a great chance to check in via phone and in-person with my parents, now in their 80’s. I never once visited them on a weekday during the 24 weeks of ratings periods, or when the weather was questionable, or when we had a big station event or responsibilities kept me rooted near work.

I miss the excitement of my former careers. Executing a well delivered talk segment.  Seeing a student reach their potential and beyond. Introducing a big-name country music star to thousands of avid fans. Last week, my son Trey overcame fear and worked out at a busy gym last week and walked three miles while grasping my arm a majority of the time. He shrieked in delight seeing peers in the community and accomplishing new goals.  It filled my heart. It gave me the same joy as interviewing a big star on the phone. In this case, it was just me and him experiencing the feat. There’s nothing like the sound of 10,000 people cheering for a star to be introduced. But the smile and laugh from Trey on a Tuesday morning walking a lap around a track filled with others is enchanting. He communicates very well. Just in different ways. I know he’s happier than when he was in high school taking naps in school and dreading the day. He is now consistently happy. Every day. I am his wingman. The transition from my past life to this one has been erratic at times. One thing I know is that leading with love is a great playbook for life. That’s a true statement for anyone going through a major life change or challenge.

I don’t miss heading to the station at 2am to meet the police officers after a burglar alarm was activated. Those calls are no fun for anyone. Well, maybe the police dogs. They excel in that moment. I did not. It’s funny how much of my headspace was devoted to work projects. I went from working more than 60 hours a week to a lifestyle where there are very few meetings and much more independent work.

Whenever a co-worker left the field of radio, I would tell them to keep the creative juices going and do something in that space. With that in mind, I had to follow my own advice and started a number of passion projects like voice-over work, some light podcasting, writing projects and launching this site. It’s been fun to display my fun side with those hustles I have charted on my own. I used to hustle for ratings and revenue. Now, I work for joy and reaching my own personal potential like I used to preach to my college students. Editor’s note – it’s easier to preach than do. When you pour your heart and soul into a post and it gets thirty-seven views, it’s a tough pill to swallow after you might meet thirty-seven people at a concert in ONE DAY who may reference something you said on that radio.  Creating content on your own is harder when no one is telling you to do it. It can also be more fulfilling. Strange how that works.

Overcoming adversity in my last gig might be working through a conflict or developing a plan to garner attention and ears. Today it may be waiting in a doctor’s office with Trey. His patience is like mine when I go shoe shopping with my lovely wife. You know, non-existent patience. As we were waiting in the nurse’s station, a “Journey” themed motivational sign caught my eye. It read “A Bend in the road is not the end of the road – unless you fail to make the turn.”

I want to fully make the turn. I want happiness for Trey, his brother Beau, and my lovely wife. I also want to add joy and creative outcomes for me.

Have you made a turn? What advice do you have?

A joy for radio from an early age

A big tip of the hat to Fred Jacobs. He recently posted an article on his blog about how you were bitten by the radio bug? The glory of an insightful article is how it makes you think and ponder. I was fortunate enough to have so many of those pivotal moments before I turned 19.

My earliest memories were listening to Lyle Bremser call 1970’s Husker games on the radio while I was at my grandpa’s house mowing the grass with my dad driving and me in his lap on a John Deere mower. The excitement in Mr Bremser’s voice made every play seem like he was calling the moon landing.

A few years later, my mom and dad would blast the “South O polka show” with Big Joe on AM radio.  Talk about pinnacle branding and rhyming. His catchphrase in between the accordions was “happy music for happy people”. It was a vibe.

Who doesn’t love a good public relations stunt? In 1981, a nighttime disc jockey at Sweet 98 (KQKQ – amazing call letters and name) locked himself in a studio and played “Mickey” by Toni Basil 2 or 3 dozen times in a row.  I don’t remember the exact total. Does anyone have an audio file of that?

When I first got my drivers license, Todd and Tyler were making jokes about MY high school.  It was equal parts cutting and extremely funny hearing all the bashing about Omaha Creighton Prep High school.

Radio was joy.

When I finished my lackluster third semester at college, chasing a career in industrial organization psychology didn’t have the same joy to me. My buddy was calling games at KRNU in Lincoln for Husker baseball, basketball and football…. just like Lyle Bremser.  I was sold.  Hello Broadcast Journalism!

Fast forward a few decades in my role as an adjunct professor in college and every year I would ask Mass Comm majors about how they “use” audio. For 9 years, about 5% less said radio. Their joy came more from Joe Rogan podcasts, YouTube shows and streaming platforms.

The radio shows cutting through that competition seems to be “multiple” like the Kansas City Chiefs offense. The examples they used usually tended to have a podcast platform they could listen to while away at college, a tv component like the Dan Patrick show and active on social media they used which seemed to evolve every semester like an Andy Reid playbook.

Radio still provides joy.

You just have to market and re-invent that joy.

Spoken like a true I/O Psychologist drop-out, right?